What's your memo?

PRESSED FOR TIME: NOLA RECAP

Tue, 15 May 2012 16:58:00 -0400

” I was gonna eat your pussy too, but then I got high. Then some people call me the space cowboy.”

“All man-made things are impermanent.”

“Your friends will suggest to stay out of trouble. Your best friend will be next to you in jail and will say Hell yes! Let’s do it again.”

“Louisiana, better than sex, music, drinks, rock + roll.”

“You won’t regret the things you do, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do.”

“Well-behaved women never made history.”

“It’s not what you know, it’s what you can think of in time.”

“I SUCK DICK FOR WEED!!!”

“I SUCK DICK FOR FREE”

“Coors Light and beads for life.”

“What if aliens had phallic mouths, and they were trying to talk to us, but we thought they were trying to rape us.”

“My biggest fear is that, one day, while dancing, I’ll pull my penis off. PARTY ROCK”

“Hello, I met you in a red hoodie and you were nice. New Orleans is the best place ever…we will win the Sugar Bowl and party all night and then drive the very long way home to stupid, cold Michigan. But then we will get a good degree and have money and PARTAYYY!”

“I’m not the father.”

“But I’m going to fuck you all night.”

“Yeah, we’re arrogant but I’m successful, and so are all my friends.”

“You can’t spell cock sucker without OSU”

“I have to pee.”

“Instead of mousetraps, why not baby traps? Not to harm the baby, but just to hold it safely until it can be released.”

“Having caught a rat in a mousetrap last week, I can confidently say that I never want to catch a baby in a BABY TRAP—that stuff is best left to abortion clinics.”

“In champions of the west, did you know that the ‘West’ refers to west of the Alleghainies?”

“There were a few years where scissoring a bull dike was the only way to get my squirts off.”

“I’m so happy I met you. You changed my life forever.”

“I can’t wait to have you in my arms. Here I am rock you like a hurricane.”

“When you smile, I smile.”

“I’ve never met such beautiful, friendly people.”

“You are the one
That makes me wanna have fun
You look good in the candle light
I can’t keep you out of my sight.

I want your lemon in my hurricane
I’m addicted to you like novacane.”

“This is random as fuck.”

“Keep calm and Chive On!”

“Dancing at a club is like having sex with your clothes on”

“I love me some brown sugar.”

“I love McDonalds!!! And PINK!”

“How the fuck are 8 people supposed to shit in a Shell?”

New Orleans is a town full of crazy people and big titties and large beads—-Go Saints!...

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:49:55 -0400

New Orleans is a town full of crazy people and big titties and large beads—-Go Saints! We’ll be back for Mardi Gra aren’t you?

“Beazells cajun seasoning. It’s that good!” Notebook advertising?

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:48:00 -0400

“Beazells cajun seasoning. It’s that good!”

Notebook advertising?

Stream of consciousness works best. Vos sos un boludo y es que…Chuck woke up in a car miles...

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:47:42 -0400

Stream of consciousness works best. Vos sos un boludo y es que…Chuck woke up in a car miles from the hotel. HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

When you make it to the top of a 14,000 ft mountain it will change your life.

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:46:34 -0400

When you make it to the top of a 14,000 ft mountain it will change your life.

Last night I let the party get the best of me. SHIT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PARTY NAKED!!

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:45:55 -0400

Last night I let the party get the best of me. SHIT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PARTY NAKED!!

I know gods a hokie because the leaves turn maroon and orange in the fall!

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:45:03 -0400

I know gods a hokie because the leaves turn maroon and orange in the fall!

“I spy with my little eye, about 4 women that were…”

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:38:04 -0400

“I spy with my little eye, about 4 women that were…”

“Only the good die young.”

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:35:25 -0400

“Only the good die young.”

“I’m from Windsor Ontario and there are 3 things that I know 1. Hockey is the greatest...

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:33:00 -0400

“I’m from Windsor Ontario and there are 3 things that I know

1. Hockey is the greatest sport on Earth

2. New Orleans is the greatest city

3. God is a HOKIE!”

“I’m a 21 year old Jazz musician and I’m from the best place in the world so drink...

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:32:05 -0400

“I’m a 21 year old Jazz musician and I’m from the best place in the world so drink smoke and be merry”

“ALCOHOL IS GOOD”

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:30:00 -0400

“ALCOHOL IS GOOD”

“But I’m already somebody’s baby! <3 CFR”

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:29:39 -0400

“But I’m already somebody’s baby!

<3 CFR”

“I love it when men play guitar with their flacid [sic] penii [sic]!”

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:28:00 -0400

“I love it when men play guitar with their flacid [sic] penii [sic]!”

“THAT DRESS SAYS YOU’RE READY FOR SOME DICKS.”

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:27:55 -0400

“THAT DRESS SAYS YOU’RE READY FOR SOME DICKS.”

FAILED EXQUISITE CORPSE - DAY 1

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:27:14 -0400

Again, the notebook began as an attempt to document life through the exquisite corpse. It’s hard, and, when people are drunk, they don’t want to write a story. You can see where the story dwindles. Here’s one of two corpses:

It was New Year’s Eve in New Orleans.

A girl had just punched me outside the photo trailer.

I asked her to signw hat would be a black eye.

What a fucking cunt, I thought, Jesus!

And suddenly, the Venutians landed, in order to enslave us all.

I wish I was any place else.

Where am I and what the fuck is going on?

It seems to be Pamplona, but I cannot be confident, the lights are far too dim.

My handwriting is not legible. (you sure?)

Diamonds here on the basis of being liked.

What is an elephant if not an elephant wan?

All kids, regardless of where they’re from, deserve the best.

When my grandma raped me, I liked it.

2012 is going to be a really, really good year.

Eat cultured vegetables of the medley kind.

Ya know, when wierd [sic] stuff happens, that changes your life, it’s just kind of…wiiieeeerd [sic]….like when you lose your keys.

Donde.

Keep a dry lip and a clean pecker.

Tell your pet vampire to leave my Day Glo passes alone.

and we enrolled Cybil at the Fleetwood Academy in classes on magic, celebrity, worldliness and leg hair, but her blue eyes kept her from the highest ranks. Bears wept, owls ran, and teeth melted. Things were…good? Or were they?

Er hat rote Haar und her is gerade von Detroit gekommen…Shrei und…einsigartig. Aber sein Innerer schweinehund war stark…

FUCK ME!!

I see him always but only peripherally.

Being home for 2012. This is the year fuck a DC!!!

NOTEBOOK GUY

Tue, 08 May 2012 16:15:44 -0400

The notebook began as a way to document life experiences through exquisite corpse. It failed after only a few hours. From there, I decided it’d be interesting if strangers wrote simply what was on their mind—ranging from dream analysis to boob drawings.

I have two rules:

1. Write whatever the fuck you want.

2. I’d prefer if you didn’t sign your name.

Some of these entries are personal, so I maintain anonymity in all posts (No fear ladies, your phone numbers have been collected). Also, celebrities, writers, and various noteworthy peoples have signed the book. So it’s fun to guess what they wrote.

All posts are completely unedited.

Enjoy.